Life on Earth sometimes is a mixed bag of what one would find in the ocean. There are those who have had to make their own way without others to help out. There are those who are dependent upon someone giving them a map to figure it out. And then there are those who so wish to do things bigger than themselves, without realistically having the means to do so. Having illusions of grandeur without realizing some of the larger things in life require a collaborative effort means that the illusion remains a pipedream unfulfilled, not realized and never seeing the light of becoming meaningful or solution-oriented.

The problem with this scenario is that most of these folks don’t want to read the map. Going against the grain as a maverick, doesn’t mean acting and reacting without research. A good idea remains only a good idea that never gets executed if you don’t do the homework beforehand. It’s like trying to put some electronic gadget together without wanting to read the instructions.

I call these people the dreamers in life. They dream and they dream big. But they don’t want to do the work themselves to make their dreams or wishes come true. More importantly they think so positively, they are not realistic about how to overcome the negative forces in life and remain stuck once they get railroaded.

For example, year after year, contestants on American Idol try out. Some of those who never make the cut, think they deserve fame instantaneously from the moment they step one toe of their foot into the arena because they made it to the audition. Well, so did hundreds of thousands of other people. Now what are you going to do? What’s worse is in the same breath, they gripe about the wait, the work involved, they gripe about the people who know better and disrespect the fact they have an opportunity in the process to learn along the way.

My mind goes back to Debbie Allen in the movie, “Fame” saying “You’ve got big dreams, you want fame. Well fame costs, and right here is where you start paying in sweat…”

No one can take away your sweat if you actually sweat. If you sweat, for real – then you know intense pain. You know the pain and disappointment after the 35th try, but you keep trying. And if it doesn’t work or you can’t find your way you still keep going even if it means you’re flipping burgers in the interim.
There is a phone call I keep receiving from a guy who wants me to make him a star. But he hasn’t done anything. He hasn’t put in the hours. He has not put in the sweat. Yet, he thinks his movies are Oscar-winning, yet he can’t get them made or released theatrically or even in Indie mode or even straight-to-video. There is no news here. I refuse to take him on. He is a star in his own mind. He believes that public relations can open doors and the spotlight will shine and he will be wanted. He even thinks this will give him some sort of ‘golden pass’ in life.

Perhaps this is the perception he has because there is a misconception today as to what makes someone famous or deserving of fame. I blame TV for this. I blame tabloids for this. But ultimately I blame him for being naïve. I believe that you have to be a realist to make your dreams come true and not only a dreamer. It makes this so much tougher for people like me to have to ‘deal’ with these kinds of egos and illusions of grandeur. It makes it tougher to convince someone that in REAL LIFE, not REALITY LIFE, that you can’t make something from nothing. You have to do the work, to make yourself something of substance to have longevity or it just doesn’t work.

Sing with me Billy Preston and R.I.P. – “Nothing from nothing, leaves nothing…”
Not only can you not make anything from nothing, but in the end, there is no substance to make it worth your while to invest energy or time into nothing when the person who wants ‘something’ actually has nothing to offer. Why develop their dream, when they themselves are not invested in their own dream to do any of the footwork? Why try to figure out who the heck they are, so you can do all the work for them, having it leave you empty in the process?

This is what I call flimsy p.r. I don’t do flimsy p.r. It’s a waste of my time. And not just my time or their time. But I am not a believer in wasting the public’s time or energy on taking interest in someone who is only there for ego and money and not for making the world a better place.

We have a choice to make imprints. It’s part of ‘wiling energy.’ Willing energy is all about making the effort to do something of substance, to stand for something other than mere jibberish. Words are great, but actions speak louder.

People can want big things. And people can rub a genie lamp 1,000 times til their hands burn. But wanting things to be so and wishing for things to be so, doesn’t make them so.

It takes sweat equity. It takes time. And it takes willing energy to devote time into developing something. So in the end when you leave this world, your life won’t have been for nothing…

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

© 2010 Queena Verbosity 100% Real Words
Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai
http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster http://www.braingasm.com

There are the weak and weary. There are the tall and proud. And then there are … The Firm. I’m not talking about a business. I’m not talking about a workout. I’m talking about the people who know who they are and stand firmly upon their foundation. These people remember their roots and they know where they came from. And even if they don’t know everything, they are in the process of being the work in progress, educating themselves about their lives, their family history and their core belief system of being.

Think about this for a minute. We, as people often reflect upon how we were raised. And we utilize this as a point of reference. Our parents reflect upon how they were raised and carry over behaviors, ideas, thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions which in part, somehow mold and shape who we are.

We then tend to discard what we don’t want or can’t use. We do shape ourselves through our experiences. This is not to disregard the past. This is not to disregard family history, tradition or culture. But it’s more about the independent spirit, which helps us stand more firmly as we discover and constantly rediscover the shape of who we are and what we are to become. It is here we develop our strengths. It is here we embrace growth.

And sometimes we have certain life experiences which take us to different levels.

During my childhood, I would spend a few days from my holiday breaks and summers with a family friend. Her name was Lisa. She happened to be adopted. And she was told this when she was really young, not just because her adoptive parents wanted her to know, but it was obvious she was not theirs as she came from an interracial relationship. What was inspiring and amazing to me is that even though she never knew her biological parents (nor did she care to), she did know the strengths of her multi-cultural background. She accepted that her German stock would give her a certain build. She accepted that her Japanese side would give her certain features and mannerisms, instinctively. She was a beautiful girl, full of confidence, life, vigor and silliness.

I give credit to her parents, for giving her the foundation she needed to adjust to being adopted and being of mixed ethnic backgrounds, while not looking anything like her parents and blatantly so. She didn’t care what people thought. She hated bullies. She had sass and strength. She had the posture, energy and endurance of what I call, The Firm. She was firmly planted, grounded, confident and nothing made her waiver. Nothing would or could make her question who she was. There were no insecurities or questions. She had a stronghold on her foundation, her base, her roots and the center of her being. And this came from the fact that she was never verbally abused. She was never judged or criticized, demeaned or disrespected. In school from classmates, yes. But from her parents, no way. They didn’t blow smoke up her a** either. They would lovingly tease her about some of her idiosyncrasies and behaviors. And then they would just laugh together. There was acceptance and love – no matter what. It was unconditional love at its finest.

This seems like some sort of fantasy-like household. Like the kind you see on television. Sadly, the reality is that today, there are more verbally abusive households than ever before. People enable their ego to take firm possession of their words and their actions, without regard to those they love, their feelings and how they may hurt them. They lose sight of how those words will eventually shape them with a console of dangerous buttons which get pushed down the road called life.

In the end there is something called ‘healing.’ And healing is a process anyone with baggage, even the Lisas of the world must go through at some point. All this is based on whatever life experiences people have had which have been downloaded into the personal memory bank of reactive behaviors.

Some people cannot find their happy place enough to heal. While others discoverer what it’s like to be alive again, once they let go. Contrary to old cliché’s…Yes, words can hurt. And yes, sticks and stones can break your bones. But words themselves are only as powerful as we enable them to be. If we take apart any word and not spot light it negatively, we don’t give it the strength to become woven within us. Lisa chose not to let ridiculing at school to destroy her, but rather embraced the fortifying loving words of her parents who loved her to strengthen her. She took stock in this, which helped her roots to form and take hold, to make her stronger.

If we take our cue from trees, we can drop a few leaves, let a few branches get blown off in this thing called life. And even when we get old, and bent-over and we may not be able to stand as tall as we used to – if we take stock on our own life’s foundation, stay firmly rooted and hold our ground, we can endure. And we will become… The Firm.

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

© 2010 Queena Verbosity 100% Real Words
Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai
http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster http://www.braingasm.com

Being environmentally conscious was part of my lifestyle ever since I was a child. In elementary school, I can remember all the kids having to go home and fill empty glass juice bottles with sand to drop in the toilet tank to raise the level of water for water conservation. I can remember recycling newspapers, glass and aluminum to help raise money for our school while saving the planet. We didn’t keep lights on if we didn’t need them, or things plugged in if we weren’t using them. We drank out of the tap and we walked around with thermoses we reused. We didn’t walk around with plastic water bottles. We used both sides of a sheet of paper – and it was recycled newsprint.

In first grade, we were taught about the importance of plant propagation, and actually did it. We planted trees. We walked to school. We wore hand-me-downs and gave to the Good Will. We shared. And we cleaned our plates and didn’t over consume things.

In a tough economy people are scaling back and making more conscious decisions about spending. And some are even making greener choices. And this is good. I applaud that. But this shouldn’t be a ‘new’ thing. This is something that should have been all along.

And Earth Day should be everyday, not just today. But in honor of today, I am conscious of the fact that this is the beginning for many to make changes. So I say, please make changes. I just hope it’s not too late for all of us.

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

© 2010 Queena Verbosity 100% Real Words
Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai
http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster http://www.braingasm.com

Some people may think of art as construction paper, paste and crayons. But when I think of art, I reflect fondly upon my graphite, ink, pastels, charcoal and watercolors.

Today I heard an interesting story about a man who is starting his life over… completely over.

After an extremely long and successful career of 18-20 hour work days, a divorce, health scares and issues, with the reality that the world is changing, his career has changed, he has realized that after all he’s been through, that his perspective of life, creativity and passion has also changed. He is returning to a fundamental and elementary love in his life, the life of art.

Long forgotten, have been the simple pleasures rediscovered: the vibrant colors and viscosity of paint; the feeling of the slender wooden paint brush handle which surrenders its control to the desire of the artist; and the textured blank canvas which beckons ….”imagine, visualize, create, dream… let’s become one and share the story only we can tell together.”

This relationship between artist and materials is a unique, private and special one. It is the artist who moves the materials and initiates shapes, designs and carefully the layers of colors and shades into the story that is being told. It is the materials who surrender to the hand of the artist saying “I’ll be whatever you need me to be… YOU just be.”

Painting, drawing and expressing oneself through art is a raw, vulnerable act.
It is open, it is freeing and liberating with every line, shape and shade. People who understand art, are in the process of learning a whole other dimension of themselves. Part of an artists inner core of being can only show up on a canvas, on paper or even carved in stone or shaped in a sculpture.

When you become one with the art you create – it is beyond music, beyond acting. Art is both a conscious and unconscious form of creation… it comes out as it comes out, for all the world to see, appreciate, criticize, marvel at, and even judge. It is the artist’s hand. The artist’s line or brush stroke. It is not a script, not someone’s camera work or lighting. It is all … the artist.

Unlike a live performance which can be forgotten, art is a permanent, tangible creation which stays as it is and as it was created. It cannot be manipulated with editing, sweetening, lighting and lenses or even be erased afterward. Once it is final… its finality is what carries its original intent and message from the first line, the first brush stroke, the first sense of what it was becoming as it was becoming.

In the journey of life, we are left with impressions people leave behind.
And it is in art, we are left with impressions created by the people who dared to share and express.

I wish him well on his colorful journey and for having the bravery and courage to be vulnerable… to be an artist.

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai
http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster http://www.braingasm.com

I saw a toddler in a stroller THROW a block directly from where he was sitting and he threw it hard. While it didn’t hit me, it did hit a little girl in the ankle. I had to wonder if the toddler was simply ‘fed up’ with building, or merely got ‘impatient’ with the idea that building seemed ‘for nothing.’

This made me think. Sometimes we don’t have the tools we need to solve what we need to solve when we need to solve it. And sometimes we end up giving up before we begin.

This is human. There is a see-saw. One side of it is patience. The other seat is taken up with skill or sometimes leaves us sitting on the ground because the seat across from us is empty – without skill, because we haven’t developed it yet.
Life is like a jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes we’re missing pieces to complete the picture. Life is like a building in an earthquake. Sometimes life crumbles, but we have a chance to rebuild again after we rediscover ourselves under the rubble, dust ourselves off and begin anew.

Our success comes from accepting the missing pieces. These pieces can be the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the absence of a friend, or a broken heart. The missing piece could be the unknown future of hope, inspiration, dreams and goals. It depends on how you look at the picture … is there a hole there? Or is it merely room for new things to appear.

This perspective is the glue. And while some blocks just don’t add up until we’ve actually been around the block for awhile to gain experience, depth, life experience, joy and sorrow to become stronger….we can still have fun in the meantime.

Learning to use the skills we have, wherever we are in life is the key to appreciating where we’ve come from and how far we’ve grown. It’s also about refinement and polishing skills we took for granted, taking them to a whole new level.

So the next time you feel ‘stuck’ while you’re building your life or feel as if there is something missing from your life’s jigsaw – just remember to ‘toy’ with what pieces you already have. You’ll not only end up learning something more about yourself, but you’ll realize that sometimes all you need is already there.
And THAT is something to really build upon.

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

© 2010 Queena Verbosity 100% Real Words
Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai
http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster http://www.braingasm.com

There was indeed a degree of separation. And there was somehow a connection to me and this station that was so hard to ‘track down.’ I had done p.r. for a show which was aired on this station at one time but just like the rest of the businesses in America – everything seems to change hands with new ownership, corporate conglomerate buy outs and such. The station could still be somewhere and together this stranger and I were sleuthing our way to try to find it. And while we couldn’t figure out who actually owns it now (as it changed hands several times), we found what he needed to get to where he needed to go, through the people who could get him to his destination. And he was thankful. To me – this was far better than just saying, ‘wrong number’ and leaving him hanging. But I admired his determination in not giving up when the going got tough. His mission was to do what he needed – because ultimately he was remembered where he came from and wanted to keep the integrity of honoring his roots and locale.

A couple weeks ago, someone I mentored needed some help. She was looking for me to assist with a few pieces of her career puzzle so she could put things together in order to get where she needed to go. Timing was horrible and she was running out of it quickly, as she hit a few obstacles in what she needed to have happen. I stepped in to deliver what I could, hoping she could gather what she needed in time, despite the challenges she faced.

A few days later, she let me know her situation became victorious and she was now on her way. And she was thankful for my help, even letting me know she will keep me posted of what happens as things develop. She was determined to get where she needed to go, and was honoring her passion and dream to get there.

With these two recent events, I became the GPS. I chose to not let others be misguided even if their map took them off course. If somehow they found me along the way even as a temporary detour – it became obvious, I needed to show them the way.

The road in life is not always flat. The river doesn’t always flow straight. And the reality in life is that life doesn’t always go according to plan.

We can get more out of life by participating in life as the guide we need to be when others are in need of help. It is up to us to become the best GPS device we can be to help get others on track, help them stay the course.

We not only become better people, we share our strength with others and hope that along the road or river we travel, as we pay it forward, we can move forward in life also.

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

© 2010 Queena Verbosity 100% Real Words
Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai
http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster http://www.braingasm.com

• Feel your feelings. There is no time limit on how long it takes someone to grieve. While pain heals with time, the pain doesn’t ever go completely away if you care for someone and they are no longer here. Do NOT delay grief – its okay to cry if you feel like crying. It’s okay to feel loneliness and sadness. The sooner you give yourself permission to feel the loss, the healthier you will become in dealing with it.

• Journal. Do not underestimate the power of journaling. Not only is it healthy to write down your feelings, but this will help you monitor your own grief recovery process. For example – maybe you will see a pattern emerge that you feel sadness at a certain time of the day or are picking up certain bad habits in dealing with the grief or even shutting the rest of the world out in the process. A journal can reveal many things about what you are processing – from shock, denial, heartache, anger (from them leaving), and other abandonment issues. Having a good grasp on what you are experiencing will help you heal. It will also help you see progression of your processing your emotions on a weekly basis.

• Write a letter. Not everyone gets closure when there is a loss. Maybe you lost someone to a disease that rapidly took over, or lost someone in a car accident – if you lost someone suddenly, chances are you need to officially ‘say goodbye.’ Not everyone gets to say goodbye at a funeral or a memorial service the way they need to in order to heal or feel closure. So writing a letter with everything you always wanted to say, will help you release some of those things you’ve bottled up over time.

• Honor their memory. As cheesy as this may seem, because everybody says it – in order to respect the memory of the one you lost, you need to honor the good times you shared while they were here. Not only is this a healthy way to process the grief, but it is also a way to honor the life they had. This will make you realize that you were blessed just to have shared something with this person or pet and you will be able to free yourself from the negative energy and replace it with only the positive and healthy feelings that can help you carry onward.

• Take good care of yourself. During this time, your body is going through a lot of stress. It is important that you do not give up your daily routine – eating breakfast, exercising, getting plenty of fresh air and daylight, get decent sleep, interacting with your friends and family and going to work each day. The more you stick to your normal activities, the more you will be able to stay on track with carrying out the life that you have left. It is something your lost loved one would want you to do.

• Be patient – with yourself and others. Grieving takes time and it is important to allow yourself and others the time to mourn or grieve in their own way. Everybody handles this differently, so don’t judge how others process it. Some people may handle it more privately or do their own rituals to deal with it.

• Don’t hold onto guilt or anger. These are negative emotions and can weigh you down during your mourning process. While it is normal to feel these things, as they are human emotions, holding on tightly to negative feelings won’t help you move forward toward positive ones.

• Do something in honor of your lost loved one. Maybe the person you lost had a favorite charity or maybe they loved nature… whether you go volunteer at their favorite organization or make a donation – or simply plant a tree in your yard in honor of them, doing a gesture like this, helps you celebrate their life and what they stood for. This is a healthy thing to do for yourself and may help others around you who are also grieving; benchmark the person’s memory in a tribute-like way.

• Clean up. Everyone leaves behind a bunch of stuff. Keep in mind –this is all just STUFF, this is not them. Sure it was a part of them, but by donating some of their things to a charity can help you feel as if an extension of their lives is branching out to be of benefit to someone else. This in turn can not only keep their purpose going, but help you heal in the process. You can also recycle some of their things to keep a piece of them around to remember them by. Maybe they had a favorite T-shirt with a certain saying on it. Stuff the T-shirt and sew up the arm and neck holes and the shirt bottom and make a pillow. You can keep this ‘piece of them’ as a throw pillow on your favorite chair. This way every time you sit in the chair you can smile and think of them. It’s a nice way to remember someone. You can do this with a few of their other things and let everyone in the circle of grief have something (like their favorite coffee mug, plant a plant in it, etc.) and each of you will share something that was near and dear to your lost loved one.

• Live your life. This is important to do. And if grieving seems to be overwhelming your life after a certain period of time, consider grief counseling. You are not alone and this is normal. Some people have a harder time dealing with death than others. You may be one of them. Take your journal you’ve been keeping so you can work through the process. And remember that you are here left behind for a reason… to carry on.

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

© 2010 Queena Verbosity 100% Real Words
Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai
http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster http://www.braingasm.com

And ever since the TV dinner was invented people started to look at portions because a TV dinner tray actually had portions of food divided in a meal. The problem was that no one questioned the problem of ‘processing’ food, chemicials, preservatives and food byproducts.

In the 60s and 70s, MSG ‘the flavor enhancer’ became a big issue, as did red dye #2 put in many a soda or candy product and in the 80s people became obsessed with sodium reduction and in the 90s it became all about 2%, low-fat and non-fat. In the early 2000s, people started to realize there problems with Olestra and all the sugar-free substitutes came under fire. And in 2008 ‘transfats’ became a household word that people became more conscious of and this was putting a crackdown on fast-food chains serving it up in alarming portions.

Suddenly America was ‘fat’.. morbidly obsese and now more than ever people are dying of prescription medications which were created to solve a myriad of health problems while creating a truckload of others including a laundry list of ‘side effects’ which are actually in combination worse than the problem you were treating in the first place.

And with this came addiction and many-a-death-too-soon from addiction to a cocktail of prescription medication which was designed to combat the effects of all this ‘bad food.’

Then here comes a movie in 2008, which I just recently rented called “Food, Inc.” And I highly recommend this movie if you truly want to start questioning what it is you are eating. I won’t give it all away for those who haven’t seen it – but it will make you start wondering about the things you put in your mouth that you thought were safe because big named companies (trusted brands) were behind them.
The truth is that a lot of these companies are mass-manufacturing companies. So the wonderful healthy, boneless, skinless, lean chicken you thing you are eating, really isn’t all that healthy for you.

We all know about pesticides. We all know about chemicals and fast-food. We all know about junk food and sugars and fats. But do you know about hormones in your food? Do you know about genetically engineered produce? Do you know how ‘controlled’ crops are affecting your life?

If you don’t, you need to see Food, Inc. It will open your eyes

http://www.foodincmovie.com/

I’m not affiliated with any food brand or company or even this movie. I am just a foodie who enjoys food in all forms and has a passion for the culinary arts. I like to buy organic food whenever possible and really love to support local farmers and growers and believe in sustainable food. I am not a vegetarian or vegan. I am a typical American carnivore like most, who occasionally has a pop-culture junkie nostalgic look back at the way food was vs. the way food is now.

Things have changed and continue to change… and not always for the better. Mass-manufactured food made cheaply, rather than healthfully is not. Corn-fed livestock isn’t healthy. And I believe we all have a right to know what is in our food and how it is prepared and believe that food borne illness also needs to stop. It’s appalling to me to see E-Coli and Salmonella still rampant these days. You would think that one death is too many.

While many people stand for many things and support many causes and tragedies, I am questioning WHY that safe, healthy food – the thing we all need to stay alive and in good health, isn’t being fought for in the same numbers.

Perhaps THIS is food for thought.

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

© 2010 Queena Verbosity 100% Real Words
Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai
http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster http://www.braingasm.com

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

© 2010 Queena Verbosity 100% Real Words
Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai
http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster http://www.braingasm.com

While being independent is great – it’s also a long and lonely road in trying to ‘fit in’ – as all the other people in the world get to talk about their large families, holidays and big outings. You don’t get to have this.

The greatest thing you can do for yourself is to strike a good balance. And you may think this is easier said than done, but the truth is – you have nothing and no one to stand in your way of creating this balance. You also have no one to be compared to or sized up with and have the opportunity to succeed or fail upon your own free will with zero pressure from siblings. This is a good thing. Don’t allow it to become an easy out for ‘easy street living’ and being lazy because you think mommy and daddy will always be there to take care of you. They won’t.

You have the power to utilize your only child position to be unique and independently-minded. You have the potential to do a lot of great things because of this position you have in life. It’s time to stop the pity part of loneliness and start using it to make the world (yours and the rest) a better place.

One may be a lonely number, but you also can strive to be number one in all the things that you do.

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

© 2010 Queena Verbosity 100% Real Words
Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai
http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster http://www.braingasm.com